My good friend Chuck is a big ideas guy. You know, one of those guys who has about 15 fantastic ideas a day. But when he starts to implement them, he often stops suddenly, usually right before the work finally pays off. Why? Maybe it’s a loss of interest, or new projects come up, or it’s just a lack of follow-through required to be successful. So, when we sit down and talk, he wonders why he isn’t as successful as he thinks he should be and cannot understand why.
Sound familiar? Maybe like someone you know or are.
Allow me to let you in on a big secret that I have learned through my own countless trial and error. Successful people do not necessarily have some incredible talent, skill, or ability that makes them a success. They simply have learned to deal with the biggest obstacle in the way of success, themselves.
Why does Chuck, and a lot of people you and I both probably know, so often abandon big ideas when they are so close to completion? The reason might be because of how we feel about our goals and dreams. Dreaming of success makes us feel better about ourselves. But if you actually try to execute a dream and it fails, then you won’t have that dream anymore. Subconsciously, most people would rather hold on to a dream and never see it realized than attempt it and see it fail. So they self-sabotage themselves before the big payoff.
Its little head games like that people play on themselves that trips them up. So I want to share two ways to make avoid this kind of thinking and make your goals more achievable:
Be very specific. Vagueness fuels distraction and discouragement. If you set targets like “get a better job” or “eat healthier” then they are much harder to achieve, especially if they have some negative emotions attached to them. Spell out exactly what you want so you can visualize what you want to achieve. Then, while you’re at it, spell out exactly how you plan to get there. The more specific you are, the more you can concentrate on what needs to be done rather than get lost in the haze of unspecificity.
Be optimistic and realistic. Realism and optimism go hand in hand. Once people can realistically see themselves accomplishing something or achieving a goal, they begin to feel more optimistic about it – and this makes them more likely to succeed. Think about what you want and what stands in your way. Go back and forth between the two clarify what action you must take. Then gain the momentum to get it done.
What are some ways that you have self-sabotaged yourself from achieving your goals and what did you do to correct these problems? Sound off and let us know your thoughts.